That Geeky Christian

Sometimes you push your body to the limits and the next thing you know you’ve lost all ability to stay up at night. Such was the case with me yesterday. I did read in Exodus and it was interesting, but I decided to go back to the New Testament for today’s post, and wow did God deliver me to a section I needed today!

First, a little background on me. I’m from two parents who are so different in their personalities that their 30+ year marriage proves opposites must attract. My mom is the more quick tempered parent, and my dad is pretty much even temper. That’s not to say that at various times in my life I’ve not seen mom hold her tongue, or dad blow up a little, I’m just saying in general. Since I’ve got DNA from both of them coursing through my body, I’ve got some combination of both. In some situations I do very well at holding my tongue whereas others I blow right up.

Today was one of those days where I ended up being on both sides of that fence. I work in an environment where you have to be a little hard, and a lot thick skinned. I’ve been having some trouble with one of the employees of a contractor I’m working with. He seemed to just not want to do the things we asked, seemingly preferring to give us reasons that our rules were unnecessary. Well, today I’d had enough. We asked him to take care of something and when he didn’t agree to do it immediately, I got a little testy and snapped. I didn’t really yell, and I didn’t curse, but my tone of voice was definitely firm, and I was definitely quick to snap back at him. He immediately went to take care of it. I was a little proud to be honest, at first at least.

As the day progressed, another employee of that contractor had issue with how I was doing my job. During a conversation, he began to yell at me. This time I did raise my voice somewhat, but not to the level he did. I was so taken aback at his tone, attitude, and untrue accusations, that I didn’t know what to do. I went to a coworker who is older and more experienced in things like this, and told him what happened and that I didn’t know what to do. He set up a meeting with our project manager, two representatives from the other company, himself, and me. After about 20 minutes of discussion we all walked out satisfied and I believe the problem will not surface again. It was a tense situation, to say the least.

Upon leaving that meeting my coworker took me to the side to give me some coaching, or advice. He mentioned the situation from earlier in the day with the first employee I mentioned. He told me that I could have handled that a bit better. He pointed out those same things I had been proud of, and it made me realize how wrong I was.

Some of you are wondering what this has to do with today’s reading? What’s this section that God sent you to? Well when I picked up my iPad to read tonight, I thought “I want to read something from the New Testament, James.” When I opened the app, I tapped James and decided on chapter three. Chapter three popped up on my screen and immediately I see the heading for the first part of the chapter “Taming the Tongue”. It’s like God said “Hey, look here, I have something for you.” When God says that, listen!

The chapter starts off by pointing out that not all believers should be teachers because teachers are judged more strictly. As a former youth pastor who still feels the call to ministry, who went through a day like today, that hit me hard. The chapter goes on to talk about how powerful the tongue is by talking about how different small things guide bigger things (bit in horse’s mouth, rudder on a ship). Without giving a whole retelling of the section, it basically points out that the tongue is powerful, and guides us. It also states that we should not let praise and cursing come out of the same mouth. Some may take that to be profanity, but I think cursing goes further than that. Hurtful phrases that have no profanity can be a curse just as bad as a profane phrase. I would imagine we’ve all done that.

The next section was on wisdom. It’s a short, but very powerful portion of this chapter. In it, the author discusses two kinds of wisdom; wisdom from heaven, and “wisdom” from selfish ambition. In verses 14 and 15 it says “But if you harbor bitter envy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast about it or deny the truth. Such “wisdom” does not come down from heaven but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic.” Wow! How many times have I done things with selfish ambitions? How many times has pride gotten in the way? How often have I thought I was wise and right about something only to find that I was foolishly wrong? I KNOW that at times I’ve fallen trap to this. I would much rather live like verse 17 “But the wisdom the comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

As I look back on my day today I see opportunities I could have had heavenly wisdom when I really had earthly “wisdom”. I’m glad to say that after conversations with each of the two men I spoke about earlier, we’ve moved forward. With the one who yelled at me, he didn’t so much apologize as he did talk to me in a different manner and somewhat make apologies for his attitude. The second (the one I snapped at) actually apologized to me for not responding as I had expected at first. His apology prompted my own, and we spoke for at least 30 more minutes in a decent work related conversation. I’ve been in situations in the past where I know I embarrassed myself by yelling, etc. I’m glad that today I didn’t get to that level, but I was reminded how close I came. These verses tonight came at just the right time to help me avoid that in the future. I’m so thankful for that.

All scripture quoted was from the NIV.

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I decided to shake up my reading today for a number of reasons which I won’t go into here. Today, I read about what’s probably the most confounding thing in the entire Bible, Jesus’ crucifixion. Though there are four accounts, I chose to read John’s which is found in John 19.

We live in a selfish society, and I know I am one of the selfish people. I’d say most of us are if we really are honest with ourselves. I am blessed with a comfortable life, a wonderful family, and an amazing group of friends. That’s not to say that I’ve not had ups and downs in my life, we all have, but my life is good. As such, I’m selfish with it. I don’t want to give up the comforts in life. I don’t want to give up my family, or friends. I like my climate controlled apartment and vehicle. I like my motion picture box in the living room, and various products featuring a fruit with a missing bite. God has been good to me, which is why this lesson is so confounding.

Jesus gave it all up for me. Now, I do not pretend to be a scholar of history. As a matter of fact, I avoided history in college by taking an economics class. That said, I’m sure Jesus’ life as a carpenter, though hard by our standards, had some nice comforts. He could see his family daily, have the joy of good friends, feel the accomplishment of building something with his own two hands, and experience any number of thinks things that you and I currently enjoy. Yet, despite that, he agreed to do God’s will and be killed for us. Not just killed, but beaten, humiliated, and basically tortured. It’s when I look at the gravity of that action in light of my own actions, that I feel so unworthy.

I don’t understand a love like that for people. I mean, I love people, and I have some friends and family that I would die to protect, but this is on another level. I find it hard to remember to help people in need if they’re not right in my face, and here Jesus was, giving it all so that I can have access to God! It’s a fact that I know, but only really seem to get when I stop and think about it. Why would he do that? Why would someone take on the abuse he did? Would you or I do that? If someone came to you and said that if you endured excruciating physical torture and then death then natural disasters that kill thousands could be avoided, would you do it? I can’t say that I’m strong enough. Jesus, however, was. Sure he dreaded it, just look at his prayer in Gethsemane, but he did it. Why? LOVE! Jesus did it because he loves us. It’s that love that I live on every day. Were it not for that, I’d be nowhere and nothing.

This coming weekend is Easter weekend and it will be filled with chocolate and rabbits and eggs. I’ve celebrated it for years that way. It’s been bugging me that I don’t celebrate the real reason for this holiday more. So, this year I will pray that I celebrate the true meaning of Easter, Jesus undying, never ending, hardcore love for us. If we remember that, we’re on the right track and no amount of confusion can derail us.

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Today I read from Exodus 28 and 29. I wish I could say that I had some insight from today’s passages, but I didn’t other than I’m glad I didn’t live back then. These chapters continue God’s meticulous instructions, but this time it’s about Aaron’s and his sons’ robes and ordination. Details are given about the sacrifices also. I still don’t understand the details given for these specific items, but God is definitely revealing to me how much better we have it under the new covenant.

Does anyone have any insight into these passages? Comment or send me emails! I welcome the feedback.

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So, day two of my new endeavor to read the Bible and blog about it was the first time I missed a day to write. I’m sorry about that. I did read yesterday’s reading, but a general lack of sleep caught up with me last night and I crashed. No not literally, I just fell asleep very early. I will write about both yesterday’s and today’s readings tonight. Preview: lots of laws and very specific instructions. Look forward to sharing with you later, there’s some good stuff in the midst of all that!

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Today’s reading was from Exodus, chapters 19-21. If I were to venture a guess, I would say the most famous part of these chapters is God’s handing down of the ten commandments to Moses. Despite the fights in modern American society about public displays of the commandments, they have been pivotal in not only Jewish and Christian history, but also the history of this country. When I read these chapters today, however, it wasn’t the commandments that caught my attention, it was the method of delivery, the way God had all the people come to the mountain, but not touch it, and the laws handed down in the next chapter.

When I read verses like the ones I read today, I’m so conflicted. As Christians, we typically focus on the message of Jesus, which is love. We talk about God’s amazing love for us, and how He sent His son to die for us. We speak of a God who wants us healed, and sometimes people talk about a God that wants us happy. When I think about that God, it’s so hard for me to reconcile Him to the God who instructed Moses to bring the people to Mt. Sinai, but not let them touch any part of the mountain. He tells Moses that if any person touches the mountain that the person shall be put to death! Not only that, apparently that person isn’t to be touched by anyone else, so he or she must be stoned or shot with arrows. Maybe I don’t know enough about that period in history, but I just don’t understand it. Furthermore when God does come down to show Himself to the people he does so by descending on the top of the mountain in fire. Enough fire that the mountain is covered in smoke. Why? Why did He choose to manifest Himself like that? Then, as God comes down, he calls Moses up to the top of the mountain. When Moses gets there, God tells him to warn the people again about coming up the mountain, but Moses reminded Him that they couldn’t because He forbade them. God is all knowing, so what was the point in that exercise?

Maybe there’s some clue in the passages following the handing down of the commandments. After God hands down the commandments, the people cry out for Moses to speak to them himself. They fear if God speaks to them they will die. Moses tells them to not be afraid because God is just testing them. He said God is testing them so that he fear of God will keep them from sinning. So, was this whole thing for show? Were people back then so hardened that all of the good things God could have done would not have spoken to them? Maybe so, I mean they had just been delivered from Egypt in miraculous ways and were still complaining. Maybe God saw that the people weren’t open to a full understanding of His love yet.

The last chapter in the book just starts the Law. I’m not sure why God saw fit to put these laws into effect. I mean some of them seem to be for protection of people, but others just seem to condone slavery. I realize that we, as Christians, live under the New Testament covenant and don’t follow these laws in the strict sense of the word that the Jewish people of the day, and some today. What bugs me is the whole doctrine we live under that says basically “God never changes, yesterday, today, and forever the same”. I’ve grown up my whole life hearing that used in examples where God did something good, so he still does today. However, many of these Old Testament stories show a vengeful God, or a jealous God, or a God who requires swift, harsh justice. Some reconcile that by saying that giving Jesus as the ultimate sacrifice satiated those feelings in God. Maybe that’s the case, but if it is, didn’t God change?

Maybe I’m looking at a lot of this from the wrong angle. After all, God did say that he would punish up to the third and fourth generations for the sin of parents who hate Him, but love to a thousand generations those who love Him and keep His commandments. I know the experiences I’ve had in Christ. I know and see the good things God has done for me despite my many evil ways. I can’t explain His love for me any more than I can explain the questions I have after reading today. I welcome comments from those who have a better grasp on this than me, and from those who are like me and struggle with this same comment. Together we grow!

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As the title of this post suggests, I’ve decided to pontificate a little about Living With Grace. I suppose more specifically I will focus on living with God’s grace in your life. It may sound silly to you at first, but this is something I’ve struggled with in my life a lot. I mean, only I know how many times I fall, just like only you know how many times you’ve fallen. So, sometimes it’s hard for me to accept God’s grace, but more about that later.

So, when I talk about living with God’s grace, what do I mean? Well, in order to get to that, let’s first look at what grace means. I like to go to the simple definition first, so I looked it up online at Dictionary.com and here are some of the definitions:

6. favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity.
7. an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied
8. Theology.
a. the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.
b.the influence or spirit of God operating in humans to regenerate or strengthen them.

Apparently grace has quite a few definitions, but these stood out to me as the most relevant to this message, so they will be the ones on which I’ll spend my focus.

When we talk about grace from a spiritual standpoint, it comes from God. The theological definition is “the freely given, unmerited favor and love of God.” Did you catch that? It said FREELY GIVEN and UNMERITED. Grace cannot be earned. Grace is a gift from God for us. In the book of Romans Paul talks about God saving himself for a remnant chosen by grace.
Romans 11:6 says:
6 And if by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace.

I love the wording there. If by grace, then it is no longer by works; if it were, grace would no longer be grace. In other words, if we could do it on our own, we wouldn’t need grace. If we could “get on God’s good side” by doing good works, we would not need grace. When I say need grace, you may be wondering who needs grace? Why is grace necessary?
Romans 3:23 says:
23 for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God

All of us. So, we ALL need God’s grace. We have all sinned, and we have all fallen short. Sin is the gap that keeps us from God. It’s a gap that we cannot cross on our own. The only bridge over that gap is God’s grace. I like Acts 15:7-11 where Peter, in addressing a statement by the pharisees regarding gentile circumcision said “7 … Brothers, you know that some time ago God made a choice among you that the Gentiles might hear from my lips the gospel and believe. 8 God, who knows the heart, showed that he accepted them by giving the Holy Spirit to them, just as he did to us. 9 He made no distinction between us and them, for he purified their hearts by faith. 10 Now then, why do you try to test God by putting on the necks of the disciples a yoke that neither we nor our fathers have been able to bear?
11 No! We believe it is through the grace of our Lord Jesus that we are saved, just as they are.”

Basically Peter said “none of us have ever been good enough and never will be good enough. However, with grace through faith, God has accepted all of us.” How powerful is that? God says that He is willing to accept you and me simply by our faith in Him.

This all sounds pretty good, right? I mean I said I was going to discuss something I struggle with, and something I feel many others struggle with, and here I am telling you about this wonderful gift of grace that God freely gives, and none of us can earn. All we have to do is accept it. So why is this something anyone struggles with?

Well, first of all, God’s grace is freely given to us, but we are called to return that same grace to others. Jesus talked about this in Matthew 6:14-15
14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
Those are some pretty harsh words from Jesus. Forgive to be forgiven. Have ever been wronged by someone? Okay, so you know how hard it is to forgive that person. It’s hard to forgive a thief who steals from you. It’s hard to forgive a girlfriend, boyfriend, or spouse who breaks your heart. It’s hard to forgive a boss who makes you work overtime for no pay. It’s hard for us to forgive in general. Humans are selfish. We want what we want when we want it. We want to be vindicated. Jesus said to turn the other cheek, but we’re still looking for an eye for an eye.

Living with grace means not only accepting the free gift of God’s grace, but also dispensing that grace to those around you. Can you imagine what the world would be like if we all gave grace to those around us? Traffic would be more comfortable, waiting on a table in a restaurant would be less stressful, hurtful words would be spoken less often, and when they are forgiveness would follow. Wow, that is hard. I cannot say that I’m good at that. If I’m driving to work, and I’m in the fast lane, I just wish I could run over the car going 10 – 20 mph under the speed limit! Don’t they know about the zero under five mile per hour over rule? Grace sees it differently. Grace allows me to sympathize with the slow car in the fast lane, to not hold it against the wait staff when my food takes forever to arrive, or is cold, to forgive when I’m crushed by someone. It allows me to, but it’s still hard.

So, accepting grace is easy. Giving it out is hard. However, there’s another aspect of living with grace that I believe just as many people struggle with, accepting that grace, and what it means in your life. See, God’s grace is so powerful that He is willing to give it to you and cover any number of sins you’ve committed. We all fall, we all fail. God says, “Accept me, repent, turn away, you’re free from that.” We seem to say “yeah, God that sounds nice, but I keep falling, so surely Your grace hasn’t extended to me.” It’s too easy. We like to complicate things. We like to do works, and feel like we’ve earned something. It’s in our nature to feel like we have to please. I know that days when I’m at work and it’s slow, they pay me the same thing as they do on busy days, but I feel like I’ve earned it more on days that I contribute. We feel like we have to earn God’s grace.

So what happens? Well, typically we fall, some sin pops up in our lives, and we pray to God to forgive us. His forgiveness is instant, and permanent. However, it seems too easy, and the enemy gets in our heads and tells us that no way were we really forgiven. He tells us that we’re going to slip again, and God is going to be mad at us. Our own human nature gets in the way and we feel like God is going to take his grace away. Let’s take another look at the definitions that were given before the “theology” section I read earlier…

“favor shown in granting a delay or temporary immunity

an allowance of time after a debt or bill has become payable granted to the debtor before suit can be brought against him or her or a penalty applied”

Notice how both of those definitions indicate that the length of time is finite? One says temporary immunity, and the other says an allowance of time. Those are the earthly definitions of grace. We put limits on our grace, but God doesn’t. However, we try to keep God in our human box, when He is greater than we!

Now, don’t get me wrong, God’s grace is not a free ticket to sin. Often we think of grace as an allowance to do something that we otherwise would not do. For instance if you have a grace period on your loan payment, you may be inclined to use that period instead of paying your loan on the day it is due. God’s grace is not designed to give us a ticket to sin because He loves us enough to forgive. As a matter of fact, Paul speaks of this exact thing in Romans

Romans 6:1-4
1 What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase?2 By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?3 Or don’t you know that all of us who were baptized into Christ Jesus were baptized into his death?
4 We were therefore buried with him through baptism into death in order that, just as Christ was raised from the dead through the glory of the Father, we too may live a new life.

Romans 6:14-15
14 For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace.
15 What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!

We will slip. We will fall. If anyone tells you he or she does not sin, there is a good chance he or she is lying and therefore sinning right before your eyes! God’s grace covers us when we fall. We should strive to not fail, but know that when we do, God’s grace is enough.

The hardest thing for me to do is to forgive myself when I fail. Can you relate to that? I’m sure I’m not alone in that feeling. Thankfully though, we serve a God forgives, and forgets our sins.

Psalm 103:12 says
12 as far as the east is from the west, 
so far has he removed our transgressions from us

He is able to put out of His mind our transgressions, but we are not. So when I fail, there is a voice inside me that keeps reminding me what I’ve done wrong. It’s like as soon as I realize I’ve sinned, and repent, ask for forgiveness and begin to turn away, a voice tells me “You’ve fallen in this same sin so many times, you’ll never be free.” It’s a lie from the enemy, but it’s inside my head! I’m sure some of you reading this have dealt with this same issue. You fail, repent, begin to walk away, and inside your head you just can’t seem to let go of the guilt. You carry a burden of shame. You need to know that God does not want you living in shame. God does not want you carrying burdens that he has already lifted!

Sometimes I feel like Paul. Now, Paul was a great man of God after his conversion on the road to Damascus, but I don’t feel like that man. I feel like the broken man. I feel like the side of Paul that struggled with pride, boastfulness, and sin. I relate well to 2 Corinthians 12:7-10
7 To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me.8 Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me.9 But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
10 That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.

I’ve heard many thoughts on what Paul’s ailment was. I believe it was a sin issue in his life. Something that he knew he needed to deal with, and would, but continued to struggle with. He says a messenger of Satan. He said it was a thorn in his flesh. He even said in Romans 7:15 15 I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. God said, however, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” God’s power is made perfect in our weaknesses! How wonderful to know that when he shows us grace, he’s really showing his perfect power! God does not want us to live a life in which we constantly feel beat down. So many people believe God is just here to condemn us! If God wanted you and I to live lives of condemnation He would have never sent His son to die for us! How wonderful is it to know that God’s grace is so powerful?

So maybe you’ve been dealing with some issue of sin in your life. Maybe it’s the same issue over and over. You give it to God, but the enemy beats you down with it again. Know that His grace is sufficient. Maybe you’ve given your struggles to God, but have failed to let them go. Maybe you just need to let God know that you trust Him to deal with your issues. Can I let you in on a secret? You can’t do it on your own. If you ever want to be free, live a life free from guilt and shame, you have to turn it over to God. Maybe somehow while reading this post you realize that you don’t know Jesus. Maybe you’ve been going through the motions, and you go to church, but something is missing. Listen, people get all the way through seminary school without knowing Christ. Believing in Him as God is only half the battle. My favorite Bible verse is James 2:19 19You believe there is one God. Good! Even the demons believe that-and shudder. So belief in Jesus basically rings you to the same level as demons who also believe Jesus is the son of God and that he died for your sins. You have to turn your life over to Him. Say to Him that you believe, and are willing to follow. Invite Him into your life to lead you where you cannot lead yourself. If any of these apply to you, and you want to know Christ, please feel free to email me. I’ll be sure to get back to you, and guide you in the right direction.

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